


just drop everything (run straight to the front)

by localopa



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: BAMF Dan Howell, Bullying, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, apparently there isn't a tag for badass dan howell, gay bullying, gay slurs are used, how did i forget this in my own work, i mean it's a small part but yeaah, i read over this before we officially posted it and i forgot to mention, i think i hated myself at one point, i write phan fiction, jess made art for this, ohhhhh COMPANION PIECE, pretending to be someone you're not, that's tragic, who knows man my life’s a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2017-12-04
Packaged: 2019-02-10 09:00:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12908637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/localopa/pseuds/localopa
Summary: dan's a badass (except no he isn't)





	just drop everything (run straight to the front)

**Author's Note:**

> so jess texted the group chat that they wanted to do an art where dan's a typical fan fic badass but he's just a big ol baby on the inside. and i said if you draw it i'll write a fic about it. so that's what happened. lovely jess did the art and i'll link it somehow but i'm not that great with technology. title is from "please stand up" by school boy humor. enjoy.
> 
> xx oliver

to anyone who knew him, dan howell was a certified badass. he wore a leather jacket, piercings scattered his nose and ears, and there’s rumors that he has a full back piece. his mouth runs a mile a minute of insults, every retort is met with a threat of a fight, and honesty, even me, the author, is scared of him.

 

though, as the author, i know that it isn’t true. and you, the reader who’s seen the description, also know it to not be true.

 

the minute day got home, his leather jacket was traded for a hoodie, the piercings came off, and the tough exterior melts away. badass dan doesn’t exist in the howell household, it’s just dan. plain old dan who couldn’t even hurt a fly even if he tried. he’s a good kid, he gets good grades and he’s even at the top of his class. 

 

badass dan is just a persona he puts on. 

 

you see, the problem isn’t that dan’s gay. lots of people are gay, i’m gay, you’re probably gay, neil patrick harris is gay. being gay is okay. the problem is there’s still some goddamn idiots who thinks being gay is grounds for getting bullied. so the day dan decided to come out was also the day he became a “badass.”

 

he’s overcompensating so nobody bullies him for being gay by becoming someone nobody fucks with. 

 

today has been particularly tough. even badasses have their bad days. 

 

dan just wasn’t on top of his rolodex of hate, everyone who went after him ended up winning. he woke up late, getting dress proved to be a hassle as he just kept fumbling clothes and falling over. by the time he got to school, dan’s missed two bells and the frantic look on his face gave way to let people pick on him. 

 

“hey, look what finally decided to show up,” one of the varsity boys sneered, the others laughing. “little fag made it.”

 

the slur shakes dan more than it normally would, freezing in the middle of the hallway. “shut up, luke.”

 

“what’s wrong, faggot? that stupid boyfriend of yours didn’t fuck you well enough last night? or did he finally realize what a piece of shit you are and dumped you?”

 

“l-leave him out of this!” dan yells, walking fast down the hallway to escape them. 

 

luke doesn’t give. “oh, c’mon, dan. we all know that boyfriend of yours is fake. who would want to date some diseased punk like you?”

 

dan ignores him, breaking out into a sprint to a bathroom. he waits for the bell to ring before walking out, leaving school and running home. 

 

the bad part of putting on this act is that some people still don’t care what the fuck you are, they’re still going to go after you. usually dan can throw luke’s heterosexual insecurities in his face, mainly that he’s probably gay for going after him. since we all know the people who hate the gays the most are more likely to be a closeted homosexual. 

 

but already being late and his whole day being thrown off made dan break. he was so focused on getting to school that he forgot to properly get into his role, which is really how he can do this day in and day out. the commute to school is how he can slip from normal dan to this badass. 

 

his parents aren’t home, thank god, because he’s crying by the time he gets through the door. he throws off his jacket, not caring where it landed and future consequences. his nose is running so much that he almost can’t get the piercings out. muscle memory kicks in, dan not even paying attention to what he was doing. he ends up in bed, wrapped in his duvet and trying not to get snot on his hoodie. 

 

(i mean, technically it isn’t his, it’s his boyfriend’s, phil’s. if you didn’t see that coming, um how?)

 

it takes an hour for dan to stop crying, short choppy breaths and red eyes the only proof he even did so. he’s exhausted and hungry, he doesn’t have the energy to get up to make food. his phone keeps vibrating on his bedside table. in reality, it’s probably his mum and he can’t really ignore his mum’s calls. that’s illegal. it’s the only reason why he picks up his phone, and is elated when he sees it’s his phil. ignoring his calls are also illegal.

 

dan answers the phone and tries to not sound like he was just crying. “hey, phil.”

 

“what’s wrong? you don’t sound okay,” phil sounds concerned, that’s the only downside to him. he knows him too well, so anytime dan tries to fake being happy, phil can tell.

 

“i had a bad day, i’m taking one down, i sing a sad song just to turn it around.”

 

he hears laughter on the other end. “dan, don’t quote daniel powter to me. seriously, what’s wrong?”

 

“i woke up late, and then when i got to school luke and the rest of the varsity losers decided to come after me,” dan mumbles. “said some not nice things.”

 

phil knows who luke is, he’s never met the guy but he knows of him. he lives in manchester, which is fucking unfortunate because dan doesn’t and if he’s an emotional wreck, his boyfriend can’t be there for him. nobody believes him when he says his boyfriend is someone from the internet, a semi famous youtuber called amazingphil. they just say that it’s convenient that dan’s boyfriend doesn’t live in the same city as the rest of them, telling him that this isn’t avenue q and he can tell the truth.

 

his boyfriend does not live in canada and, unlike rob, his boyfriend is, uh,  _ real. _

 

“i want to meet this luke,” phil says after a while. “have a little chat with him.”

 

dan laughs. “you are not hurting luke.”

 

“but he hurt you.”

 

they’ve been friends for a year, dating for 6 months, and it still makes dan’s heart race when phil says these kinds of things. it doesn’t feel real for dan that his idol is also his best friend and  _ boyfriend _ . 

 

“hurting him means you could go to jail, and then i’ll miss you even harder.”

 

phil sighs. “i hate that he can even treat you like that.”

 

they say distance makes the heart grow fonder. dan hates that person, he’d be as fond of phil even if they lived together. “i miss you, phil.”

 

“i’ll visit soon, love,” there’s a smile in phil’s voice, dan can tell. “your break is soon enough and i’ll be there as soon as i can. it seems like forever away but you can do it.”

 

dan smiles, feeling better already. “can you tell me a story?”

 

phil laughs, probably nods before launching into a story about this person he ran into on public transport. dan puts the phone on speaker and set it on his bed, closing his eyes. he imagined that phil was there in bed with him, holding him as he told the story. eventually, crying catches up to him and he starts to drift off, falling asleep to the sound of phil’s voice. 

 

the thing that stops phil in his story is when he hears soft snores coming from dan’s end. “dan?” he tries, only to get more snores in response. phil smiles, wrapping an arm around himself. “sweet dreams, badass.”

 

(if phil doesn’t hang up and falls asleep on the phone with dan, well, that’s only between them, their cell phone providers, and maybe god. depending on whether or not god could stomach this cute shit.)

**Author's Note:**

> follow us on tumblr @astronomerhxwell and @furryhowell


End file.
